What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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