I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
