his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
