Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Randomize
