You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
