Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
