Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
