Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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