I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
