You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
As shirtless as possible
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
