At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
he was CRYING into my vagina
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
