I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Acid is not a monday night drug
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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