I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
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I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
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I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I forget how to act sober
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