all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
