i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
