They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
