Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
