So drunk its hurt
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
My Sexting was not on an AP level
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
