I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Im part way to drunk.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
