Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
