My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize