I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
