YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you cant smoke seaweed
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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