You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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