It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
i've created a new STD.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
