Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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