oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
