Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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