I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
