Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
