i was rollin on her like bob the builder
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
