Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
either way he was missing a nipple.
sarcasm needs its own font
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
