dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
