Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
