she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
