Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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