Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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