ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Randomize
