My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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