she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
