So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
We need a shit load of segways right now
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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