He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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