i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
