Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
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