Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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