TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
