So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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