all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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