If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
