I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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