Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Small penises have feelings too.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
