that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
