I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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