just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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