you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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