Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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