I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
