I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
