youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We were destined to go to rehab together
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
