Someone shit on the floor
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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