She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You're like the curious george of whores
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Randomize
