Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
