I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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