This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
