guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
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I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
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But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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